If you ever arrive home very very late you will know that your wife will not be too pleased and your life will become miserable for a good few days.
Now I told my friend how to avoid this, and I will share it with you.
When you get home creep silently into the house, take your clothes off outside your bedroom and get into bed from the bottom. Gently part your wife’s legs and give her minge a good long noshing and she will be so grateful that she will forgive your late arrival home.
My buddy tried this when he arrived at his home at 4:30am.
He stripped off outside the bedroom, slid under the bed sheets, gently parted her legs and started noshing away at the old minge for about an hour and a quarter. He said that the old minge hairs were so long and matted that it was like chewing last year’s hanging basket.
Eventually he thought he had done enough so he crept out to the bathroom. He was standing in the dark picking hairs from his teeth with one hand and taking a p*ss with the other. Whilst he was there his wife walked in, she switched on the light and told him to be quiet because her mother came round whilst he was out and she was sleeping in their bed tonight!
Well that was nice then.
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