I was getting into my car the other day and this bloke says to me. "Can you give me a lift?"
I said "Sure. You look great, the world's your oyster, you are fit and healthy so go for it.."
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, and it's not me so it's either my Mum or my Dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think its Colin.
Two fat blokes are drinking in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other one says. "So are you, you fat b*stard!"
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine. So that was nice wasn't it?
OMG, they are worse than the German ones
actually: they are great